Companionship

Yesterday was a very special day. I had the privilege not just to enjoy a wonderful, inspiring,  melodious and transcending music recital but also to closely observe the true essence of companionship.

After the concert, it was dinner time at our host's home (I should rather say, palatial mansion). Amongst the 'Rasikas' (audience), there was a very old couple. Looking at them, one would estimate their ages to be 70+. While the elderly gentleman was able to just manage to walk, the lady was almost limping even with a walking stick. They both silently entered and enjoyed the music sitting next to each other. When it was dinner time, the gentleman got up while the lady continued to sit. He slowly made his way to the buffet place and meticulously filled a plate with food. He then walked carefully balancing the plate in his hands, to his wife and handed it to her. (It seemed like she was not healthy enough to help herself). He did not stop there. After handing her the plate, he went further in another direction and got her two pieces of tissue, while she gave him a beaming smile. If THIS is not true companionship, what is? I was immensely moved at the sight.

If you think I am promoting the concept of marriage by taking this sweet couple's example, you are mistaken, as even I was. Yesterday, I also came to know of a person who has lived alone for more than 2 decades (and yet is extremely cheerful and amazingly talented). He seems to find the greatest love and joy of existence in his own company, basking in the glorious light of his principles of simplicity.  And no, he did NOT show hints of any depressive tendencies (for the psychiatrists out there!) or misery. In fact, he is a great musician and a mathematician and am so fortunate to know him. If one is one's own true companion through the thick and thin of life, what else can one ask for? If THIS is not happiness, then what is?

Its is only a matter of choice - marry or remain single. The important part is to be true to the relationship (with partner or with oneself, respectively) in spite of what society's rules for men and women are, in spite of what one's relatives (including the closest ones) think or expect.

Dusshera - A celebration and an awakening

If you ask me what my favorite festival - I would call it Dusshera (or Dasara, the way South Indians call it). The festival lasts 9 days/nights (also called 'Navaratri') culminating in 'VijayaDasami' (the victorious tenth day). Different parts of India celebrate Dusshera in different ways - some as a home coming of Lord Rama after vanquishing the demon king, Ravana; some others as the victory of Mother Goddess Durga over the demon, Mahishasura.

In South India, Dusshera is a season of dolls, prayer, songs, dance, sweets and sharing. My mother would usually start cleaning our home about a week ahead (including re-arranging the attics, giving away unused stuff and throwing away unusable stuff). We would then have a wonderfully decorated living room, with several dolls arranged as creatively as possible. (I remember one of our neighbors used to actually 'build' doll houses from cardboard sheets, paint them and create little doll cities, doll farms, doll hospitals etc). In our home, thanks to my mother's passion for miniature dolls of all kinds (porcelain, indian clay, metal, plastic etc) and creativity, we never fell short of materials or ideas. Oh and we also bought at least one new doll every year.

And then there would be visiting the homes of friends, either for 'Prasad' (consecrated food) or for Pooja or for sharing savories /sweets or just for fun. Though it seems silly to me now, I used to fidget so much when someone asked me to sing a song or chant a 'shloka'. It was probably the discomfort associated with adoloscence. As far as I could remember, that was the only displeasing factor about Dusshera to me. I so miss those days now. My mother still does all of the above and much more but I can no longer be home during the festival.

These days, the celebration of the demon-vanquishing part of Dusshera has begun to appeal to me more than ever before. As the legend goes, Mother Durga fought with the fiery demon for 9 whole days incesseantly, until she destroyed him for ever. To me, this signifies two things - the continuous human struggle with inner demonic qualities and the ultimate success (this is a popular metaphor) and the power of the female aspect in humans.

I feel that the whole legend of 'MahishasuraMardini' deals with both the above aspects. Even in everyday life, women are indeed much stronger than men. They show more determination, more resilience and more forbearance. Women can swallow not just their own failures but also of their men, much better and more readily than men can. That is probably why a woman can draw more from her huge reservoir of inner strength in the face of life's hardships. However, since God is known as the famous leveller, women also suffer from lack of unity. It is amazing how much they crave for attention and acceptance from the opposite sex than their own. It is sometimes disgusting to observe how much a woman can maliciously manipulate situations just so that another woman falls down in the eyes of some man. In short, a woman can be as sinister as she can be beautiful.

I am a woman myself and I understand the short comings of my kind. In spite of these hard truths about women, I am proud to be one because we can do things which no man usually can. (I said usually because there are also great men who transcend our definition of the usual man, who lived grand lives and died working for the upliftment of humanity). All the same, I am also ashamed that we tend to direct all our potential in gaining a 'certificate' from the men in our lives, instead of working towards enriching our self-esteems, instead of contributing positively to at least one person beyond our immediate families. I have no qualms in accepting that I am also afflicted with this general problem. So,  the coming of Dusshera is acting as a reminder of the true potential of feminine energy and how we can direct that energy to make the world a better place to live in, just as Mother Durga used all her strength and power not to prove to some other woman that she was greater/more beautiful than her or to win some man's 'human love' but to a greater purpose which was to relieve the earth of demonic qualities (as personified by Mahishasura).

The MOTHER of all diseases

Nope, this ain't about AIDS or cancer. If it is true that most diseases have their root in the mind, then the darling mommy of all of them, according to me is - PROCRASTINATION. And I have been suffering from chronic procrastination since I was born. Yes, I think was ok until I came into this world because I was told I woke the hell out of everyone when I arrived at 5:00 am (wow, right?). And then, I saw the world, cried my bit and probably made a firm resolve - "what can be done today can also be done tomorrow, what can be done tomorrow can be done the day after". Bah ! Since then, as far as I have known, it always required an enormous, bitter struggle with mental and physical inertia to wake up as early as that. It is one thing to get up late and it is another to brood about how I got up so late for the rest of the day. And doing things at the right time? Hmm.. lets not even talk about it. I am tired !

I have read my share of books, seen many inspiring lives - including those of ants, bees and the like. In vain! I like living in the moment. So I enjoy it by postponing all important boring things :P.

No, I do not actually enjoy it. I stand as a witness to time floating past me and when it reaches the corner of the street, I start running as fast as I can to catch up with it. Call it luck or Divine Providence or Karma, I have never NOT caught up until now but I am sure my so-called luck balance is fast diminishing.

Recently, an experience sent shudders in me and woke me up. I spent a few days after that in a trance and consciously chose every single moment, to NOT procrastinate. And I was amazed at how much I could actually get done in 24 hours. I finished all my assignments in time, read a couple of books, completed all paperwork, cooked, did laundry, sang, danced. But then, as all good things have to come to an end, the trance is wearing off. However, the mental bliss, the satisfaction that it was time well spent, the memory of the slow and steady progress in work, the memory of the calm.. ah! I probably do not need a trance now. The memory is enough to get me going.

No, I still do not get up at 5. I can manage a 7:30 maybe. When I do become a regular at "Early to bed, Early to rise", I will throw a blog party (by writing a couple of blogs about it). But I do have other tiny accomplishments over the past fortnight. So yay for now :)

Ending this post with "the health anthem" -

Say Booooo to the mommy of diseases

To the one who breaks our peace to pieces

To the one who strongly refuses to leave us

Say booo booo booo to the mommy of diseases

Peace !