is the word which would best describe my mood over the last couple of days. I would pine and long in restless eagerness for something until the moment arrives and departs in a jiffy, like a flash of lightning. I am sure many of you have been where I am right now. (For instance,looking forward a weekend after a hectic work week, until Friday evening arrives, only to soon find yourself going to bed on Sunday night.)Definitely there have been endless "wishes and prayers" - if only Friday evening would stand still - the weekend having started but not quite.
I am reminded of a profound poem we learnt way back at school. John Keats, one of the most revered English poets, bases this poem on the pictures on an Urn (an earthen pot) and marvels at how each moment is captured forever on the Urn.
For example, the lover, just about to passionately kiss his beloved is caught in that intimate moment on the Urn. Yes, he would now never kiss his love - but all the same, his passion would never die, his beloved would never cease to entice him, his love would never fade away.
"Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter: therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;
Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear'd,
Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:
Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal - yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair! "
The poem ends with "Satyam(truth) Shivam (auspicious existence) Sundaram (beauty)" - at least that is what I have understood
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."
My tribute to all those poets/souls who could think such beautiful , yet profound thoughts and to the Creator from whom all what Is , arises...
Friday, July 17, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Life's Like This...
It amazes me how some pestilential specimen on the earth could be such experts in bugging. A septagenerian on my most recent train journey stood testimony to this fact.
Travelling alone has never been an exciting experience in the past. So the presence of my uncle this time, evoked the undaunted chatterbox in me. We were in the middle of this really involving and amusing, light discussion about "hypocrisy in following traditions" when I heard THE VOICE. I guess God would have sounded that way when He said "Let there be Light". THE VOICE belonged to a slightly hefty, round bellied, white haired old man sitting beside me and munching chapathis. He pronounced "You are wrong" and started blabbing about how the usual symbols of an Indian girl (a bindi, bangles, MangalSutra - he did not bother to think if I was actually married or not) are missing in me and how our "culture" and "tradition" are lost in most of us and this and that and this again and that again. He volunteered to provide some "musical" entertainment by graciously blowing his own trumpet - "Oh I do Yoga, Pranayama everyday. Oh I walk for half and hour everyday even at my age. Oh I follow strict diet." - Probably that is the trade secret behind his hanging belly which seemed to walk before him wherever he went, like a bodyguard.
It was evident on his face that he disliked me - intensely in that, reasons unknown. It was also more evident that most of what he was speaking was mere lies. Irony - Our discussion on hypocrisy actually tempted our dear neighbour on the train to be unbearably and shamelessly hypocritical. Honesty, for him, seemed to be hidden at the bottom of a bottomless abyss. Age, trials, tribulations in life have apparently failed to teach him to speak atleast simple truths. I wondered how many more of us are like that. The train moved fast, he kept preaching, a few others including my uncle nodded along and asked "doubts" (Wham!), I sat silent, alone again.The journey continued...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Uncureable Curiosity !
As far as my knowledge goes, there are two kinds of people - the curious and the not non-curious. In effect, curiosity inflicts all.
The not non-curious type dont ask questions. However, if you are in a mood to talk, they are ALL ears. The curious kind bombard you with questions - all sorts. But the good curious kind empathize with you and try to help you or console you or whatever. The not-so-good curious people irritate me the MOST. To start with, they are least interested in your well being. And their questions are unending - to the point of insensitivity and shamelessness.
One of my acquaintances happens to portray herself this way. She HAS to ask questions - however worthless and inconsequential . It is either RAW curiosity or some overflowing feeling of altruism to spread general knowledge to others about others. In a few of your good, tolerant moods, you can actually find her (and hence such people) very amusing and derive some entertainment value. Dont be surprised if you perceive a radiant glow on their faces and the most dazzling sparkle in their eyes while they put you through the ultimate test of patience. (Mind you, otherwise these people could be very listless about every other thing in the world) The worst part is that the conversation becomes so unbearable that you would want to run to a stationery store, buy a roll of cellophane and expend it entirely on their mouth area. Typical questions would be like this - Candidate looks at a cap and asks.."Oh is this a cap?". You roll your eyes and say "yes". Bang comes the next question(s) - "Where did you buy? How much did you pay? When will you go there next? Where are you going to wear this? Are there other colors? How many? ......" (extending to infinity). Well, that was just to give an example - a very simple and humble one at that.
Well, I have let my frustration out. I had a bout of useless curiosity thrown at me from a totally unempathizing personality and was irritated - having vented that out, let me now get back to work.
The not non-curious type dont ask questions. However, if you are in a mood to talk, they are ALL ears. The curious kind bombard you with questions - all sorts. But the good curious kind empathize with you and try to help you or console you or whatever. The not-so-good curious people irritate me the MOST. To start with, they are least interested in your well being. And their questions are unending - to the point of insensitivity and shamelessness.
One of my acquaintances happens to portray herself this way. She HAS to ask questions - however worthless and inconsequential . It is either RAW curiosity or some overflowing feeling of altruism to spread general knowledge to others about others. In a few of your good, tolerant moods, you can actually find her (and hence such people) very amusing and derive some entertainment value. Dont be surprised if you perceive a radiant glow on their faces and the most dazzling sparkle in their eyes while they put you through the ultimate test of patience. (Mind you, otherwise these people could be very listless about every other thing in the world) The worst part is that the conversation becomes so unbearable that you would want to run to a stationery store, buy a roll of cellophane and expend it entirely on their mouth area. Typical questions would be like this - Candidate looks at a cap and asks.."Oh is this a cap?". You roll your eyes and say "yes". Bang comes the next question(s) - "Where did you buy? How much did you pay? When will you go there next? Where are you going to wear this? Are there other colors? How many? ......" (extending to infinity). Well, that was just to give an example - a very simple and humble one at that.
Well, I have let my frustration out. I had a bout of useless curiosity thrown at me from a totally unempathizing personality and was irritated - having vented that out, let me now get back to work.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
'Cat'astrophy !!!
Getting ready in the morning has always been a rush affair for me. It doesnt matter how early I get up. I always end up running hither and thither and just about manage to catch my bus. (Alas !). Anyway, today was no exception. But guess what I should see in the hall while eating carrots, combing hair and searching for my mobile (yes, all at the same time)?!? Horrors of horrors...A FAT BROWN CAT !!! It sprang behind the TV and managed to slide out through the front door. I was aghast !!! The feline species have not forgiven me. Everytime they HAVE to appear in the most unexpected of places, in the most unexpected of moments and make my heart jump out of my body, hit the opposite wall and jump back in just in time to save my life.
This reminds me of a nightmarish early morning in college. I was in my third year and it was summer. We all slept with our balcony doors open in our respective rooms in hostel. I was in good sleep when I suddenly woke up having a feeling I was not alone in that room. I was not wrong. Yes, a thin black cat with green eyes was sitting right next to me on my bed. Then two things happened in a single instant - I had my first attack of paralysis, it had its first experience of being PT Usha's feline counterpart(atleast I think so) - in short, it jumped past me out of the window and disappeared into the darkness in lightning speed.
All said and done, I am not so much of an animal lover. My love for animals extends only to the point where I can manage to not hate them and can manage to not interfere in their existence. My sincere prayer to all the feline, cannine, whatever-ine species of the world (though they cannot read this) - " Please stay away from me. Good fences make good neighbours :- "
This reminds me of a nightmarish early morning in college. I was in my third year and it was summer. We all slept with our balcony doors open in our respective rooms in hostel. I was in good sleep when I suddenly woke up having a feeling I was not alone in that room. I was not wrong. Yes, a thin black cat with green eyes was sitting right next to me on my bed. Then two things happened in a single instant - I had my first attack of paralysis, it had its first experience of being PT Usha's feline counterpart(atleast I think so) - in short, it jumped past me out of the window and disappeared into the darkness in lightning speed.
All said and done, I am not so much of an animal lover. My love for animals extends only to the point where I can manage to not hate them and can manage to not interfere in their existence. My sincere prayer to all the feline, cannine, whatever-ine species of the world (though they cannot read this) - " Please stay away from me. Good fences make good neighbours :- "
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Horoscopes or "Horror"scopes?
Hailing from a pretty orthodox family, I have had the "privilege" of witnessing and hearing quite a few stories around horoscopes, auspicious and inauspicious times (and the like). Tradition demands that for a girl to be "sought after" by prospective grooms' families, she should have a compulsively impressive horoscope. That includes being born under a "good star" - though I am at my wit's end to understand what that star might have done to the world to have been proclaimed "good". An Indian girl's parents heave a huge sigh of relief when one of renowned astrologers (who would also be probably one of the richest astrologers) give her horoscope a "pass with first class/distinction" certificate. Otherwise their plight would be "Oh is your girl educated? Very good. Oh she cooks? Excellent. Oh she is interested in arts? Fantastic. Oh she looks good too? What else can one want? By the way, What is her star? Bad-star? Sorry, we are looking for a 'good' wife for our son. Bye bye". (All nonsense if you ask me !!!) The worst part is the same star is not as nightmarish to boys !!! In fact people claim openly "If its a boy, not a problem. But for a girl...a big NO". And we call ourselves civilized and educated.. Bah !!!
Not long ago, a certain set of circumstances demanded that I gain some knowledge about stars and constellations, planets and their satellites :P.(No, I am not referring to the study of space or astronomy) I learned that a girl born under Indian star "Moola" would KILL her father-in-law. Now this holds even when the father-in=law's horoscope says he would live so long that the whole world would start praying for his departure(:P). Actually, wouldn't that be a good way to get rid of your old, troublesome, orthodox husband without fearing the law? Get your son married to a girl with "Moola" Nakshatra :D
Indian astrologers are mind-blowing. Apparently with a cost of a few thousand rupees, one can get oneself "cleared" off the ill effects of one's birth star. Now that is sheer baloney ! What is further distressing is there are people ready to take loans and pay the "large-hearted" (and most probably, fat-bellied) gentlemen to PRAY to the stars and constellations on our behalf !!! And even then, these most spiritually endowed souls would warn us "However, we cannot give 100% assurance that these prayers would be answered but 80% of the time, they work." Ohh, how can you? It probably depends on what MOOD the star is when you pray, isn't it? (Sigh!)
Why do we all need proxies for prayers? Are we not all endowed with the same life force, the same capacity to think, act, pray? How can a star decide and DEEM a girl's future, her personality, and her self-respect ? Yet, generations after generations, in the so called "traditional" marriages, this is the story we so often hear, talk about ,and conveniently forget. As long as girls and their parents give in to the pressures of the society, as long as young GUYS blind their eyes to the horrors of horoscopes and deafen their ears to the sorrows caused by dowry/gold and dance to their parents' tunes - (however arrhythmic they are), looks like the "GRAND" saga of most of these traditional marriages which are so generous in providing ample tension, frustration and anxiety to last a lifetime, would continue...
Not long ago, a certain set of circumstances demanded that I gain some knowledge about stars and constellations, planets and their satellites :P.(No, I am not referring to the study of space or astronomy) I learned that a girl born under Indian star "Moola" would KILL her father-in-law. Now this holds even when the father-in=law's horoscope says he would live so long that the whole world would start praying for his departure(:P). Actually, wouldn't that be a good way to get rid of your old, troublesome, orthodox husband without fearing the law? Get your son married to a girl with "Moola" Nakshatra :D
Indian astrologers are mind-blowing. Apparently with a cost of a few thousand rupees, one can get oneself "cleared" off the ill effects of one's birth star. Now that is sheer baloney ! What is further distressing is there are people ready to take loans and pay the "large-hearted" (and most probably, fat-bellied) gentlemen to PRAY to the stars and constellations on our behalf !!! And even then, these most spiritually endowed souls would warn us "However, we cannot give 100% assurance that these prayers would be answered but 80% of the time, they work." Ohh, how can you? It probably depends on what MOOD the star is when you pray, isn't it? (Sigh!)
Why do we all need proxies for prayers? Are we not all endowed with the same life force, the same capacity to think, act, pray? How can a star decide and DEEM a girl's future, her personality, and her self-respect ? Yet, generations after generations, in the so called "traditional" marriages, this is the story we so often hear, talk about ,and conveniently forget. As long as girls and their parents give in to the pressures of the society, as long as young GUYS blind their eyes to the horrors of horoscopes and deafen their ears to the sorrows caused by dowry/gold and dance to their parents' tunes - (however arrhythmic they are), looks like the "GRAND" saga of most of these traditional marriages which are so generous in providing ample tension, frustration and anxiety to last a lifetime, would continue...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Brown Purse Blues
It takes one of those bright, chirpy mornings where you are all positive thought and energy and are looking forward to a day of "extreme" productivity , to realise you forgot your invaluable purse at your office desk the previous night. Then begins the most unceremonious descent of all nightmares on your day. Yes, this happened to me today.
I had just jotted down "action items" for the day when the disastrous memory struck. I felt like kicking myself hard enough to make me land on my office desk right then - (it would not have made any difference if my purse was actually stolen, anyway). The sunny morning suddenly became unbearably hot. With a heavy heart, I boarded my bus. The journey never seemed to end. When I finally managed to gasp, pant and run to my desk, I found a note from Security - "Claim your wallet from Security Desk". Whew !!! My bright, chirpy morning is back :) .
The point is - I wondered how everything (including me) changed instantly - the blessed instant being when I took my purse in my hands and held it securely tight. Just a while ago, I was anxious and tense. In a moment, I was all smiles and light. In fact shrewd observers would have noticed a light hop in my walk. I even managed to hum a song. The security guy made my day, indeed ! I thanked him immensely and mentally made a 'note' of a new 'note' to go into my newly acquired habit of making daily notes - "Check for purse and mobile before leaving office".
I had just jotted down "action items" for the day when the disastrous memory struck. I felt like kicking myself hard enough to make me land on my office desk right then - (it would not have made any difference if my purse was actually stolen, anyway). The sunny morning suddenly became unbearably hot. With a heavy heart, I boarded my bus. The journey never seemed to end. When I finally managed to gasp, pant and run to my desk, I found a note from Security - "Claim your wallet from Security Desk". Whew !!! My bright, chirpy morning is back :) .
The point is - I wondered how everything (including me) changed instantly - the blessed instant being when I took my purse in my hands and held it securely tight. Just a while ago, I was anxious and tense. In a moment, I was all smiles and light. In fact shrewd observers would have noticed a light hop in my walk. I even managed to hum a song. The security guy made my day, indeed ! I thanked him immensely and mentally made a 'note' of a new 'note' to go into my newly acquired habit of making daily notes - "Check for purse and mobile before leaving office".
Monday, September 17, 2007
The Train Journey
Sometimes, you realise that a long train journey is the best place to meet and observe people. For one thing, you are ,for all practical purposes, idle. Second, you can unabashedly stare around and even eavesdrop because no one would mistake you (is it because they do the same thing? I dont know). The inspiration for this post is "courtesy"ed to my most recent journey home. After a one and a half hour autorickshaw ride in the dusty sun to a lazy Hyderabad station, the eagerness to go home (also to cleaner and cooler surroundings) increased manifold. The train was already there, waiting for us ( me and my friend). the compartment looked friendly and to our surprise, empty save a few passengers here and there. I have always had this strange fascination for a journey as in Europe... a sparsely populated train chugging slowly away through the green countryside , across fields, above rivers and streams... with me, sitting by the window in mild sunshine and having a feast of the landscape. Anyway, coming back to rude reality, my joy was shortlived when at the Secunderabad station. innumerable suitcases, bags, travel chains,screams, jostles and a hundred other things invaded the train accompanied by their possessive owners. (Sigh !!!)
A huge Tamil family marched in to occupy seats around us. Looking at their luggages which filled the under-berths in a trice, it seemed that that was a marriage party. I was not wrong. In our coupe, my friend and I sat at the two aisle seats, the others occupied by the elder men of the group. They seemed pretty orthodox with traditional "Naamam" on their foreheads, clad in white shirts and dhotis. My friend and I buried ourselves in our respective books. In a while, bored and eager to look around, I lifted my head and lo ! my neighbour, an elderly man was staring curiously at me and my book (which happened to be an agatha christie thriller). However, his son came to rescue me from embarrassment. He barged into the coupe just then with some savouries for all. Relishing them, the men settled into a very "typical" conversation. Looked like my inquisitive neighbour just married his daughter away.. the party chatted endlessly about the groom ("maapila nalla maari aana.. nalla vela paakaraaru. ponnu kashtapadaadu") , the "vaayi illaada sambandi mama" and "pollaada sambandi maami", the jewels the bride got from her in laws... and finally the eldest of them all consoled the worried father, folding hands, looking towards heaven.."God is there. Leave it to Him.. he will take care of our daughter".. all followed suit and prayed.. "Narayanaaa..Perumaale..nee daan kaapatthanum ayyaaa" !!! I was most amused at how some people never fail to betray expectations. They were simple people, almost illiterates in English and as I observed, spent most of their time chewing traditional Paan and digging their noses. Their dinner consisted of traditional "Puliyodarai" and "Tayir sadam" ... both ejecting lasting aroma into the air. They had a seemingly sumptuous dinner (signified by the numerous burps around) and made our coupe a standing proof of that (heehhee..if you understand what i mean). All the old men, with dhotis folded above their knees and marched to wash their hands, licking them en route :)
Yet, I felt very secure in the midst of these people. There was no fear of any harm from them. And I was sure that in case of any harm from anybody else on the train, these simpletons would come to my rescue if I ask them for help. I eavesdropped shamelessly on their every conversation each time highly amazed and amused at their simplicity. I would not have felt so much at ease with so called "sophisticated" people.. who invariably turn out to be selfish. I wonder, where is the line? Do we have to make our lives so simple that we dont bother about social behaviour,etiquette and cleanliness? Or do we have to make ourselves so trim and prim and sophisticated that those around us feel uncomfortable and sometimes insecure? Maybe there is a balance somewhere, where simplicity and sophistication go hand in hand. If so, where does it lie?
A huge Tamil family marched in to occupy seats around us. Looking at their luggages which filled the under-berths in a trice, it seemed that that was a marriage party. I was not wrong. In our coupe, my friend and I sat at the two aisle seats, the others occupied by the elder men of the group. They seemed pretty orthodox with traditional "Naamam" on their foreheads, clad in white shirts and dhotis. My friend and I buried ourselves in our respective books. In a while, bored and eager to look around, I lifted my head and lo ! my neighbour, an elderly man was staring curiously at me and my book (which happened to be an agatha christie thriller). However, his son came to rescue me from embarrassment. He barged into the coupe just then with some savouries for all. Relishing them, the men settled into a very "typical" conversation. Looked like my inquisitive neighbour just married his daughter away.. the party chatted endlessly about the groom ("maapila nalla maari aana.. nalla vela paakaraaru. ponnu kashtapadaadu") , the "vaayi illaada sambandi mama" and "pollaada sambandi maami", the jewels the bride got from her in laws... and finally the eldest of them all consoled the worried father, folding hands, looking towards heaven.."God is there. Leave it to Him.. he will take care of our daughter".. all followed suit and prayed.. "Narayanaaa..Perumaale..nee daan kaapatthanum ayyaaa" !!! I was most amused at how some people never fail to betray expectations. They were simple people, almost illiterates in English and as I observed, spent most of their time chewing traditional Paan and digging their noses. Their dinner consisted of traditional "Puliyodarai" and "Tayir sadam" ... both ejecting lasting aroma into the air. They had a seemingly sumptuous dinner (signified by the numerous burps around) and made our coupe a standing proof of that (heehhee..if you understand what i mean). All the old men, with dhotis folded above their knees and marched to wash their hands, licking them en route :)
Yet, I felt very secure in the midst of these people. There was no fear of any harm from them. And I was sure that in case of any harm from anybody else on the train, these simpletons would come to my rescue if I ask them for help. I eavesdropped shamelessly on their every conversation each time highly amazed and amused at their simplicity. I would not have felt so much at ease with so called "sophisticated" people.. who invariably turn out to be selfish. I wonder, where is the line? Do we have to make our lives so simple that we dont bother about social behaviour,etiquette and cleanliness? Or do we have to make ourselves so trim and prim and sophisticated that those around us feel uncomfortable and sometimes insecure? Maybe there is a balance somewhere, where simplicity and sophistication go hand in hand. If so, where does it lie?
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