Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Madhavi

Recently, one of my acquaintances expressed gratitude to her eight year old son for teaching her how to love truly. I was immensely impressed by her gesture because I have not seen many mothers acknowledge that fact. It is true that people younger than us sometimes teach us a lot about life. It is also true that some younger people are just spoilt brats who do not deserve any attention but this post is not about that vain category. 

Speaking of younger people, I am reminded of my stay in Hyderabad as a fresher out of college, comfortably earning and relatively independent, no-care-in-the-world kind of life. I used to share a house with a friend. My cousin sister lived close by and she advised us to hire a maid to do all the cleaning and washing. Since we liked the idea, she talked to a girl herself and it was agreed that she would come everyday before we left for work. The girl's name was Madhavi.

What struck me the most about Madhavi was her punctuality. Rain, sun, cold, illness would not matter. Our doorbell would always ring at 7 in the morning. While my friend and I used to struggle to get up early, cook some meagre breakfast and barely be able to catch an 'air conditioned' company bus to work, Madhavi would get up as early as 4, fetch water for her home, help her mother cook food, work in a neighbouring house and come to our place at 7. After leaving our house, she would go to a couple of other places before lunch. One would think she would probably "lie down and read a book" in the afternoon to rest but no, Madhavi went for stitching classes. Her idea was to learn to stitch blouses for women to supplement her family income. At this juncture, it becomes imperative to mention her age. She was barely 17 years old.

Madhavi's father, as she told us, was a daily wages laborer. Madhavi and her mother worked as domestic helpers. Her elder sister was married to a good-for-nothing moron who always demanded money from Madhavi's parents and gave them unwanted grand children to take care of, in return. Her younger sister was an illusive girl who refused to study or work and preferred to laze around and day dream or fight.  If Madhavi did not work, the family would not be able to make its ends meet.

In spite of her circumstances, Madhavi stood as the epitome of integrity, punctuality, honesty and sacrifice. She understood people, situations, where to draw a line, where to keep quiet, everything. Her forbearance never ceased to amaze me. Many a time, she put me to shame because I was much older than her and still fretted over minor discomforts.

When it was time for me to leave Hyderabad and Madhavi, I told her that I would always pray that she does not end up with another useless drunkard who would do nothing but kill her from within. Even to that, she replied philosophically - "It is difficult to get a good man in my community. I am prepared for anything. But I will have only one child, even if I get beaten and killed. I will bring my child up well". 

I have no idea where she is now. I do not know if I should have kept track but it did not happen in the natural sequence of events. However, Madhavi would always be one youngster whom I would admire and thank for the rest of my life. She silently taught me many things and I am still learning them.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Paneer + peanut gravy + Andhra tadka

Well, if you think this is some sort of a recipe, you will be disappointed and not at the same time. Paneer is Indian cottage cheese, popular solely in North India, Andhra (short for Andhra Pradesh) is a state in southern India while Tadka is an Indian word for seasoning.

It all started on a pretty hot evening. My room mate 'S' (not to be confused with the S in my previous post. In fact, all my current room mates are S's) announced we were going to have some Paneer dish for dinner and set about preparing it. I for one, hate Paneer. The chewy feeling that it gives totally puts me off. I can tolerate it only if its in some Paratha (Indian bread). So seeing a chunk of Paneer lying on the counter ready to be sliced was enough to get me skeptical about dinner. But S, lets call her Ms.Chef, seemed resolute. 

Now, Ms.Chef is crazy about peanuts and started roasting them vigorously with red chillies. As if Paneer was not enough, she next announced that its going to be peanut gravy. WHAT?!? Really? Did the other S (I'll call her Ms.Energy because I have not seen anyone more enthusiastic about life than she is) who was washing vessels allow both her jaw and a vessel to drop? I would never know because my senses stopped functioning for a while. I was aghast. Ms.Chef was of course nonchalant and said "Aye baavuntundiiiiiiii" (the way she drags every final syllable in Telugu words) - meaning "hey, it would be good". 

The third S in our house happened to pass by and was equally mortified at the thought of the ultimate paneer peanut combination. In an attempt to address the impending doom, she suggested meekly.. "Er.. would it not be better if you just cooked it the usual North Indian way.. in tomato gravy?"... For a moment we thought Ms.Chef would give in. She considered things for a few seconds and announced again - "Ok. lets add tomatoes to the peanuts". DEAD !!!

Well, the peanut, red chillies, onion, tomato gravy was made, Ms.chef kept smiling (should I say wickedly?) at us while we tried every theory to prove that the whole thing is going to make us puke and die (forgive the hyperbole). To what avail? The "Aye baagane untundiiiiiiiii. Meeku teleeduuu"  (Hey, its going to be ok, you guys dont know) song continued and ended with Ms.Chef doing the unthinkable. She seasoned this dish with South Indian Tadka (Mustard, cumin, pulses). Now any self respecting Indian would admit that this is a strictly unholy combination.  If paneer+peanut can make one die, this tadka combination would force the dead to turn in their graves. But it seemed Ms.Chef would not rest until we "rest"ed for ever. END OF STORY !!!

Epilogue: The dish turned out to be life-giving and not life-taking. In other words, super yummy - "pure unpolluted awesomeness". We ate it for two days, licking our fingers and drooling for more (very much like dogs). In fact, anybody who reads this post and can guess who Ms.Chef is in real life and also knows her personally, should beg/request/demand/command her to cook the same for him/her. I do not know if its the peanuts or the tadka or the paneer or the chef's skillful hand or "love" (if you will :P) or all, but Paneer +Peanut gravy +Andhra tadka is one of the best Paneer dishes I ever had with Rotis (Indian bread). 
* bows solemnly to Ms.Chef*


Saturday, September 1, 2012

Pay it forward

I know I left my previous post incomplete and hence forever in the "to be continued" state. I somehow did not feel like writing more because the experience was so disheartening. What should have been simple and in fact my right as a good tax paying citizen became traumatic and cumbersome. The passport office was just one example of what we have learnt to endure over the years. Sometimes when I look around, I begin to think if the world is all a bad place where mistrust, selfishness and envy rule the roost. But almost immediately I know I am wrong. If the world was indeed such a dismal place, it would have ended long ago. There is still a lot of goodness (albeit hidden) and I remember one such instance that comes to mind.

S is my very dear friend. I do not clearly remember how our friendship started. It must be one of those days in office where you go about looking for people to have lunch with. S came across as a confident, charming, very outspoken person. Anyway, coming to the point, S had a friend P who was in a not-so-rosy situation then - he was broke and getting married. P desperately needed help in making his house a home for his bride. Needless to say, S actively took part in the whole process. She was looking to give him something that he would not have otherwise been able to afford - something that is necessary for his home (dining table, TV etc.). This kind of amazed me because what she proposed to give him was actually pretty expensive. I might think twice before I got MYself those things, leave alone gifting a friend. When I asked S how, in THIS world where people do not even share their salt with others, she could so easily choose to part with tens of thousands of rupees for a friend, not as a mere loan but as a generous gift. Her reply is the essence of this post.

"When I was in college and had very little pocket money, one of my friends used to pay for my many meals. I was uncomfortable after a point and told her to please not do that anymore. Then she told me in case I felt guilty or obliged, I could help another friend in need, exactly how she helped me in my times of need. So I help P today and probably tomorrow, he will remember this and help some of his own friends."

I recently reminded S of this story and she was puzzled that I remember it even now. It might be a normal episode for her but it had a deep impact on me - it is because some people still have these selfless values that our world is still inhabitable, else we would have all killed each other long ago and that would have been all.

Friday, January 20, 2012

A true horror story - Part 1

Yes, its true and it happened to me - the place is none other than Pune passport office. It was a bright morning (I do not remember the day of the week). I double checked my documents, tucked them in a handy file, grabbed my hand bag and set out for my "appointment" with the passport office. To give a brief history, my Indian passport was to expire in a few months and I wanted to get it renewed as soon as possible. I expected to breeze through the whole thing because I had already been once certified as a responsible citizen. Give documents, give money, give signature, take receipt - DONE !. This was what I expected. Little did I know that "Man proposes and the Indian government disposes" ! I applied diligently online, followed all instructions, took my best passport photographs. Back to the story now...My appointment time was at 10:00 am. To be sure, I reached half an hour early. I endured a couple of initial shocks. First, the building was nothing like a Central government office which does one of the most important jobs in the country. It was dilapidated, almost like a shack with rough overgrowth of bushes and sand everywhere in the so-called front yard. Second, there was a huge line of about 50-70 people in front of the office hut (Sorry, I cant call such structures buildings). However, my confidence did not waver. I had an appointment and I was early. I was in no "situation". Well.. well.. well.. guess what ! It look me less than five minutes to learn that every single person in that line had a 10:00 am appointment ! The so called designated time was just a cruel ugly trick played by the officers. Those who knew of it, sat there with bed n bedding since morning. Those naive ones (like me) stood in the mud n sand like pigs, clutching our files for life.. Thus the horror began..... (To Be Continued)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

A new resolve

It has been a while since I wrote anything. Hence I have decided that this is the right resolution for me at this juncture of life - to write more and often. Well, the reason is simple. It is not that my life has witnessed an interesting turn of events or because I have an inner urge to put my 'oh so creative' imagination into writing. Last but not least, it is definitely not to flaunt my english language skills. On the contrary, I have been observing that my vocabulary is getting more and more limited to "stuff" and "thing". (typical sentence - The thing is, all that stuff is not the thing). When its neither "stuff" nor "thing", its "you know?" or even worse, "I dont know...". My language has been on a steady decline since some time and I want to salvage it before it decays and rots. Also, I recently read 'Anne Frank's Diary' and wondered if I would remember anything of my own past if I do not capture it in writing. I see my childhood stuff (argh ! there it is..the STUFF) and remember what I was. I want something to remember my present in the future. (yeah, bad sentence.. so what ! thats all I have now) And hence this post ! A new resolve....

Friday, May 27, 2011

Nidhi

I dont remember when our friendship started. Was it when we participated in the annual office party? Was it in the dressing room when we exchanged and discussed our personal problems? Was it when I barged into her cabin and asked her to sign as one of my marriage witnesses and she readily agreed even though she did not attend the function? Or was it... the list is endless. I only remember always wondering how this chubby lil girl is coping with so many problems and still is managing to live a life. I would expect many including myself to become zombies in no time. In fact, I WOULD become a zombie given how stressed I can get. There were also times when I thought she was being foolish - (with money, with emotions), getting stuck in small things. I realize today that its perfectly ok to overlook even the most obvious of weaknesses in a person if he/she is truly worth it. And Nidhi falls into that category for me. Work and home have kept me busy. I have hardly gone downstairs in months, to her cabin, for a chat. I dont call her during weekends to find out how she is doing. I am not up to date with the latest happenings in her life. But what I do incessantly do is pray that she finds happiness and peace in life. I mean, its just impossible to not wish good for her. And today, when she is finally leaving the company, I somehow , try as much as I may, dont feel sad. Probably its because I have always wanted her to go to a better place in future, personally and professionally. Or, Probably its also because they say - "When you love someone truly, you LET GO - for their happiness". :)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Sha-La

One of my dearest friends, DJ, had an urgent need to look for new accommodation. So we both found ourselves room hunting on a not-so-pleasant evening ( to be read as dirty, dry n cold evening). Our first halt was at this place with a Marathi "rector". She was so ferociously Marathi she could bite. While I ied my best to mumble a few marathi words I knew in response , DJ caring the least. At the end of our short visit, the rector declared the inevitable.."if you have to bring your brothers, they have to wait downstairs. Cant go up with you". Whoa !!! DJ dint have so many 'brothers', so that wasnt a problem anyway :P.

Our next halt was at this place which had a weird French-Indian name in a lane where even a man and his dog cant walk comfortably alongside. We parked our bike outside the gate and I started muttering my usual.."Oh God please dont have a dog pounce on me now" prayers while lil DJ pushed open the gate. We were looking around when Voila !!! There, in that slightly creepy moment, we had our first glimpse of Sha-La. Hearts stopped beating, mouths started opening and breathing stopped happening. Pulses weakened as we looked around for support. Who should stand in front of us but a voluptous young woman who was dressed to kill. Yes, she could kill even women. We managed a weak.."Room dekhne aaye hai" and she went in calling out.."ahooo.." (Marati housewives address their husbands like this). And who should come out but a thin, dark man with glasses as thick as Sha-La's lipstick (I would bet if she were ever given anaesthesia on her lips, it would never reach her veins). He was the caretaker.

DJ was excited about the place but I wasnt able to decide who( the man or his wife) gave me the creeps.. I convinced myself that it is Sha-La. The next afternoon, PG and DJ went again to see the room and PG convinced me that the guy wasnt as shady as I thought he was. DJ decided she loved the place and we went again in the evening to settle things. Then the Sh-La effect struck PG. Her memory and eyesight might have become temporarily busy processing Sha-La while she had a weird conversation with the caretaker which went like..

"Accha.. ShantaRam kahaan hai..?"
"Madam, me hi Shantaram hoon."
"Kya? to subah wo kaun tha?"
"Wo bhi main hoon"
"Kya? Aap ho? To aapne subah aapke chashme pehne the kya? oooooooooooooo"

While I stood sadly witnessing PG gathering her senses again :D

Anyway, DJ stays in the Sha-La apartment and we hear stories of how her saree pallu is always about to fall and how her lipstick is always so red and so thick... PG and I wonder when we will get over the Sha-La effect. A glimpse could paralyze you for life. Thats Sha-La short for "Shady Lady" :D