Pay it forward

I know I left my previous post incomplete and hence forever in the "to be continued" state. I somehow did not feel like writing more because the experience was so disheartening. What should have been simple and in fact my right as a good tax paying citizen became traumatic and cumbersome. The passport office was just one example of what we have learnt to endure over the years. Sometimes when I look around, I begin to think if the world is all a bad place where mistrust, selfishness and envy rule the roost. But almost immediately I know I am wrong. If the world was indeed such a dismal place, it would have ended long ago. There is still a lot of goodness (albeit hidden) and I remember one such instance that comes to mind.

S is my very dear friend. I do not clearly remember how our friendship started. It must be one of those days in office where you go about looking for people to have lunch with. S came across as a confident, charming, very outspoken person. Anyway, coming to the point, S had a friend P who was in a not-so-rosy situation then - he was broke and getting married. P desperately needed help in making his house a home for his bride. Needless to say, S actively took part in the whole process. She was looking to give him something that he would not have otherwise been able to afford - something that is necessary for his home (dining table, TV etc.). This kind of amazed me because what she proposed to give him was actually pretty expensive. I might think twice before I got MYself those things, leave alone gifting a friend. When I asked S how, in THIS world where people do not even share their salt with others, she could so easily choose to part with tens of thousands of rupees for a friend, not as a mere loan but as a generous gift. Her reply is the essence of this post.

"When I was in college and had very little pocket money, one of my friends used to pay for my many meals. I was uncomfortable after a point and told her to please not do that anymore. Then she told me in case I felt guilty or obliged, I could help another friend in need, exactly how she helped me in my times of need. So I help P today and probably tomorrow, he will remember this and help some of his own friends."

I recently reminded S of this story and she was puzzled that I remember it even now. It might be a normal episode for her but it had a deep impact on me - it is because some people still have these selfless values that our world is still inhabitable, else we would have all killed each other long ago and that would have been all.

A true horror story - Part 1

Yes, its true and it happened to me - the place is none other than Pune passport office. It was a bright morning (I do not remember the day of the week). I double checked my documents, tucked them in a handy file, grabbed my hand bag and set out for my "appointment" with the passport office. To give a brief history, my Indian passport was to expire in a few months and I wanted to get it renewed as soon as possible. I expected to breeze through the whole thing because I had already been once certified as a responsible citizen. Give documents, give money, give signature, take receipt - DONE !. This was what I expected. Little did I know that "Man proposes and the Indian government disposes" ! I applied diligently online, followed all instructions, took my best passport photographs. Back to the story now...My appointment time was at 10:00 am. To be sure, I reached half an hour early. I endured a couple of initial shocks. First, the building was nothing like a Central government office which does one of the most important jobs in the country. It was dilapidated, almost like a shack with rough overgrowth of bushes and sand everywhere in the so-called front yard. Second, there was a huge line of about 50-70 people in front of the office hut (Sorry, I cant call such structures buildings). However, my confidence did not waver. I had an appointment and I was early. I was in no "situation". Well.. well.. well.. guess what ! It look me less than five minutes to learn that every single person in that line had a 10:00 am appointment ! The so called designated time was just a cruel ugly trick played by the officers. Those who knew of it, sat there with bed n bedding since morning. Those naive ones (like me) stood in the mud n sand like pigs, clutching our files for life.. Thus the horror began..... (To Be Continued)

A new resolve

It has been a while since I wrote anything. Hence I have decided that this is the right resolution for me at this juncture of life - to write more and often. Well, the reason is simple. It is not that my life has witnessed an interesting turn of events or because I have an inner urge to put my 'oh so creative' imagination into writing. Last but not least, it is definitely not to flaunt my english language skills. On the contrary, I have been observing that my vocabulary is getting more and more limited to "stuff" and "thing". (typical sentence - The thing is, all that stuff is not the thing). When its neither "stuff" nor "thing", its "you know?" or even worse, "I dont know...". My language has been on a steady decline since some time and I want to salvage it before it decays and rots. Also, I recently read 'Anne Frank's Diary' and wondered if I would remember anything of my own past if I do not capture it in writing. I see my childhood stuff (argh ! there it is..the STUFF) and remember what I was. I want something to remember my present in the future. (yeah, bad sentence.. so what ! thats all I have now) And hence this post ! A new resolve....

Nidhi

I dont remember when our friendship started. Was it when we participated in the annual office party? Was it in the dressing room when we exchanged and discussed our personal problems? Was it when I barged into her cabin and asked her to sign as one of my marriage witnesses and she readily agreed even though she did not attend the function? Or was it... the list is endless. I only remember always wondering how this chubby lil girl is coping with so many problems and still is managing to live a life. I would expect many including myself to become zombies in no time. In fact, I WOULD become a zombie given how stressed I can get. There were also times when I thought she was being foolish - (with money, with emotions), getting stuck in small things. I realize today that its perfectly ok to overlook even the most obvious of weaknesses in a person if he/she is truly worth it. And Nidhi falls into that category for me. Work and home have kept me busy. I have hardly gone downstairs in months, to her cabin, for a chat. I dont call her during weekends to find out how she is doing. I am not up to date with the latest happenings in her life. But what I do incessantly do is pray that she finds happiness and peace in life. I mean, its just impossible to not wish good for her. And today, when she is finally leaving the company, I somehow , try as much as I may, dont feel sad. Probably its because I have always wanted her to go to a better place in future, personally and professionally. Or, Probably its also because they say - "When you love someone truly, you LET GO - for their happiness". :)

Sha-La

One of my dearest friends, DJ, had an urgent need to look for new accommodation. So we both found ourselves room hunting on a not-so-pleasant evening ( to be read as dirty, dry n cold evening). Our first halt was at this place with a Marathi "rector". She was so ferociously Marathi she could bite. While I ied my best to mumble a few marathi words I knew in response , DJ caring the least. At the end of our short visit, the rector declared the inevitable.."if you have to bring your brothers, they have to wait downstairs. Cant go up with you". Whoa !!! DJ dint have so many 'brothers', so that wasnt a problem anyway :P.

Our next halt was at this place which had a weird French-Indian name in a lane where even a man and his dog cant walk comfortably alongside. We parked our bike outside the gate and I started muttering my usual.."Oh God please dont have a dog pounce on me now" prayers while lil DJ pushed open the gate. We were looking around when Voila !!! There, in that slightly creepy moment, we had our first glimpse of Sha-La. Hearts stopped beating, mouths started opening and breathing stopped happening. Pulses weakened as we looked around for support. Who should stand in front of us but a voluptous young woman who was dressed to kill. Yes, she could kill even women. We managed a weak.."Room dekhne aaye hai" and she went in calling out.."ahooo.." (Marati housewives address their husbands like this). And who should come out but a thin, dark man with glasses as thick as Sha-La's lipstick (I would bet if she were ever given anaesthesia on her lips, it would never reach her veins). He was the caretaker.

DJ was excited about the place but I wasnt able to decide who( the man or his wife) gave me the creeps.. I convinced myself that it is Sha-La. The next afternoon, PG and DJ went again to see the room and PG convinced me that the guy wasnt as shady as I thought he was. DJ decided she loved the place and we went again in the evening to settle things. Then the Sh-La effect struck PG. Her memory and eyesight might have become temporarily busy processing Sha-La while she had a weird conversation with the caretaker which went like..

"Accha.. ShantaRam kahaan hai..?"
"Madam, me hi Shantaram hoon."
"Kya? to subah wo kaun tha?"
"Wo bhi main hoon"
"Kya? Aap ho? To aapne subah aapke chashme pehne the kya? oooooooooooooo"

While I stood sadly witnessing PG gathering her senses again :D

Anyway, DJ stays in the Sha-La apartment and we hear stories of how her saree pallu is always about to fall and how her lipstick is always so red and so thick... PG and I wonder when we will get over the Sha-La effect. A glimpse could paralyze you for life. Thats Sha-La short for "Shady Lady" :D

Hope !

Sometimes, a series of failures can miraculously transform one's life. My most recent setback has brought to me, a new perspective to life and left me eternally indebted to some very special people. In fact, this blog post is dedicated to them!

I recently realized that 'a good friend' is someone who always, ALWAYS leaves you better than he/she found you. When I think of such people in my own life, the first person that comes to my mind is my mother. I do not understand how I did not realize this before but she has a refreshingly intellectual and spiritual way of helping me cope with my problems. She has already positively impacted and touched many lives around her in a variety of ways. While many ladies her age busy themselves in watching TV soaps, my mother spends her time learning The Gita, Yoga, reading great books,teaching the blind, serving in voluntary organizations and counselling school-going youth.

And then there is this set of extraordinarily awesome people to whom I always turn for positive energy - a few friends without whom I might have been non existent by now. I do not have their permission to use their names but whenever I see/talk to/meet them, I always end up aspiring to be a spectacularly wonderful human being, atleast to live up to their trust in me. They, like my mom, seldom emotionally sympathized with my problems. Instead, they assured me of my true potential and of the vast expanse of brilliant light beyond the seemingly dark situation.

As one such friend once told me - "Even when all appears to be lost, there is hope. You still have your brilliant mind, your healthy and wholesome body, your education, your knowledge and much more. This much is enough for you to lead a great life". How true !

Even in moments of distress, those words make me look forward to life because there is so much more to learn, so much more to give, so much more to love, so much more to be loved, so much more to see, so much more to understand, so much more to travel, so much more to read, so much more to laugh....the list goes on... yes! Life continues to be beautiful :)

Lessons From The Ramayana - 2

After Ravana abducts Sita, Rama and Lakshmana run hither and thither in search of her. One day, as they pass by the mountain, Rishyamukha, they meet Sugriva(a monkey-king) and Hanuman (his loyal minister). Sugriva's elder brother Vali had driven Sugriva out of the kingdom and had also coveted his wife, Indu. Hanuman introduces a bereaved Rama to Sugriva who agrees to help him find Sita provided he helps him defeat his brother, Vali and get his wife and kingdom back.

Rama asks Sugriva to invite Vali for a fight. While Vali and Sugriva are fighting, Rama hides behind a tree and shoots his arrow at Vali, killing him. During his last moments, Vali asks Rama - "O Rama, you are supposed to be the embodiment of Dharma(righteousness). You are respected for your fairness and adherence to what is right, in any situation. Pray tell me what Dharma is it to kill a person hiding behind his back? Have you forgotten the ethics of the battlefield? Do you think this guerrilla warfare of yours is justified?"

Rama solemnly replies - "Vali, you coveted another's wealth and another's wife by force. You are enjoying what is not yours. Because you are elder and much more stronger, you DOMINATED your brother, a rightful heir to a portion of this kingdom. In addition, you drove him out of this kingdom and pledged you would kill him if he entered here again. Every time he tried to win his right, you crushed him, slandered him, bullied him, got him beaten and drove him away again. You are even enjoying his wife because you feel you are the king and you have the power. O Vali, he who uses his God-given strength and skill to dominate over others, harass others and enjoy what is theirs is not to be considered a human being. He is indeed an animal. And animals are always hunted, not righteously fought as in a battle field. So the ethics of war do not apply to you. For whatever you have done while you were alive, you are dying an animal's death. This is what you deserve."

However strong one might be, one should never misuse his/her strength and take advantage of the weak. The body, the mind, the five senses, material wealth, knowledge, skills and strength are all sacred. He/She who uses any of these to bully others or rule over them is an animal. His/her show of power and apparent success in the physical world is but ephemeral. In the end, the judgment that would be pronounced on him/her would be ruthless - as unethical as his/her own life.